Feline Friday is my chance to celebrate famous cats across the arts, whether their origins are in gaming, film, anime, literature or anywhere else.

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Cats who are looking to have a good time but end up paying the ultimate price for their lives of sin

First Appearance: Lone Digger (2015)

Music isn’t something we cover here extensively at EZIYODA, and by that I mean at all. Obviously, I’m no musician myself. Couldn’t tell you the difference between bebop or rocksteady. But what I do know are cats, and in this 2015 music video from the French band Caravan Palace, we do indeed see cats featured in a central role.

If you’re so inclined, you can watch the music video before perusing this article, or afterwards. You could attempt to look at both at the same time, but that would likely be incredibly difficult and ineffecient.

Lone Digger’s story follows a trio of unnamed cats who are enjoying a night on the town. We are not made aware of how they know each other, though it is worth noting that they are completely identical and even wearing matching outfits. They could be brothers, but in fairness, all cats kinda look the same anyway.

The particular venue they have decided to visit on this fateful night is one of debauchery, where the booze flows freely and a seductive gazelle pole dancer struts her stuff on the stage. Whether it’s mere happenstance or a deliberate choice to stir up trouble, the cats sit across from a table of suited dobermans.

You can immediately feel the tension in the air. Are they rivals in business and love? Or is it merely their instincts putting them at odds with one another? Either way, the cats are kinda being dicks and mean mugging the dobermans, though a few shots of milk seem to lighten the mood.

Then, it happens. One of the dogs intentionally trips the waitress, sending her to the floor and spilling milk all over the cats. First off, let’s establish that this is assault. That zebra hits the turf hard, and was already forced to wear heels in the first place. If I were her, I would immediately be filing for workplace compensation. It’s hard being a horse trying to make a living in this fucked up town, and this is one step too far.

Of course, the cats are livid. They flip a table, and square up against the dogs. One of the patrons, a snake who seems intent on jumpinh in on the action, also takes umbrage with the poor zebra waitress at the same time.

If you thought these conflicts would be resolved through words or mutual understanding, you do not understand the world of the Lone Digger. One of the cats unsheathes his claws and slits a dog’s fucking throat. Like, holy shit dude, we have just witnessed a murder here at this establishment, and now all hell breaks loose.

The snake bites the bullish bouncer. One of our beloved cats is mauled by a dog assailant. An alligator has his shirt ruined by the resultant blood spatter, and is understandably upset.

One by one, the patrons and staff fall in a bloody mess, until none are left standing except the gazelle stripper who had been oblivious to everything happening around her. She turns around, only now noticing that everyone is dead and her scantily clad body is covered in entrails.

It wasn’t my proudest fap, but that was the long and short of Lone Digger by Caravan Palace.

For those of us seeking symbolism, some kind of logic in this tragedy of fur and sinew, we must unpack what little we know of these characters. For their part, I honestly think that the cats were just looking to have a good time. Their faces were ones of nervous anticipation upon entry, and though they were protruding their claws at the doorway, it looked more like they were checking their swag.

And oh lordy, did those boys have swag. Alas, they were also just too damned proud to let injustices slide, and everyone would suffer the consequences. Though in fairness, that fucking snake was probably going to cause some shit anyway, so perhaps their fates were sealed the moment they descended upon this foul den of depravity.

The music video could serve as an allegory, juxtaposing these well-dressed patrons with their animalistic barbarity. In some ways, it parallels actual conflicts in the club (though to an extreme degree), and how all airs of culture can quickly dissipate in a moment of blind rage.

Incidentally, that’s the paragraph I’m going to post to Wikipedia in the hopes I can help get more clicks on my website. Wish me luck! And remember, there’s no use dying over spilt milk.