Just a quick heads up before we get stuck into this week’s felonious feline! Although we’ve already seen the maneki-neko in Dandadan’s end credits, its true identity isn’t revealed until episode 5 (chapter 11 of the manga)… so spoilers are lurking ahead. Beware of curses!!

Feline Friday is my chance to celebrate famous cats across the arts, whether their origins are in gaming, film, anime, literature or anywhere else.

If you have a request for a future feline, please let me know on Twitter.

ターボババア (Tābo Babā)

First appearance: Dandadan chapter 1 (2021)

In a crowded shonen market, it takes a particular kind of story to stand out from the crowd. Dandadan’s premise sounds familiar — a pair of supernatural nonbelievers challenge each other to investigate creepy locations where paranormal activities are known to occur, which both turn out to be real. Dandadan’s delivery, on the other hand, is entirely unconventional.

Case in point: Turbo Granny, an ancient yokai that haunts an abandoned tunnel. As the rumours went, she was feared for her incredible foot speed, as well as her tendency to purloin penises from unsuspecting victims. Her last target was Ken Takakura (also known as Okarun), the aforementioned supernatural nonbeliever who ran afoul of her when he was sent out to the tunnel where she lurked.

Working together with Momo Ayase, Okarun was able to free himself from Turbo Granny’s curse and reunite with his beloved willy. Alas, alas, there’s always some kind of technicality involved, and in desperation, Turbo Granny latched the last of her energy into Okarun’s soul. In doing so, she took his testicles hostage instead.

…See what I mean about Dandadan being unconventional?

When Turbo Granny’s continued menace is detected, she is forcibly removed from Okarun and placed inside a maneki-neko statue, diminishing her powers and rendering her into the veritable mascot of the series. So yes, once again we have an anime character for Feline Friday who isn’t really supposed to be a cat, in the same vein as Amanojaku or Izutsumi. And technically, Turbo Granny is hardly even a cat at all, because she is less a kitty than a mere curio.

How then could I justify her inclusion for this column? It’s quite simple, friend, I’m doing it for the fucking clicks.

Without being able to curse people or snatch up some tasty penises, Turbo Granny decides to just play along with Okarun and Momo for the time being, hanging around and seeing what life is like in modern Japan. And as it turns out, she kinda likes it — the wonders of technology must be absolutely mindblowing for an old hag who has been sleazing about a dingy tunnel for all these years.

She’s quite standoffish and crass, and targeting her ego is a surefire way to get her to listen. True to her name, Turbo Granny’s pride and joy is her incredible speed, meaning that she cannot turn down an opportunity to show this off in a race. Whether she could beat The Flash or Jerry Seinfeld, I cannot say for sure, but losing to her has disastrous results.

With that being said, she’s not entirely malevolent. She has a tendency to show up at sites where young girls lost their lives in unfortunate circumstances, acting as a guardian of sorts for their spirits. As long as the living don’t enter her territory, she has no reason to come after them, so in a way, you could say she’s misunderstood.

Misunderstood, and hungry for dicks. It’s relatable.

At the very least, having a travel-sized encyclopaedia on the spirit world proves useful in a pinch, and maybe, just maybe, this temporary allegiance could flourish into an actual partnership some day. For the time being, her adorable appearance makes for great merchandise opportunities, so you can’t say she isn’t pulling her weight for the team.