I’m on a hunt for the scariest movies of all time! I’ll be looking at films of any era, from any country, and then reviewing them based solely on how terrifying they are.

If you have a suggestion for a horror movie, please let me know on Twitter.

Please be advised, spoilers may lie ahead!!

Talk to Me (2022)

Director: Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou

Starring: Sophie Wilde, Alexandra Jensen

Call me a sucker for the glitz and glam of Hollywood, but I have been notably rooted in American movies as part of my efforts for The All-Time Scariest. When one considers how mediocre some of those were, and how the lone foreign language film currently carries the high score, it would perhaps behoove me to pay more attention to the international market.

As such, today I’ve elected to take a trip up the road and see what’s happening in my local cinema, courtesy of the South Australian horror flick, Talk to Me. And yes, there is an actual road that will take you from Melbourne to Adelaide, if you have a spare eight hours to kill.

The premise of Talk to Me has a compelling hook, when a group of teenagers begin messing about with a mummified hand that allows them to communicate with the dead. Kids fucking around with the occult is nothing new, and yet here it is totally played for shits and giggles as a party game. Anyone using the hand experiences a bizarre high as they channel the spirit directly, resulting in all kinds of weird, perverse reactions.

To me, it quickly evoked memories of Jordan Peele’s Nope, with similar themes surrounding the commodification and exploitation of supernatural elements.

Much like the fingers the eager partygoers entwine to begin the seance, Talk to Me is incredibly snappy. It doesn’t labour too extensively in downtime or padding, but it still does a solid job of laying down the groundwork for its characters. Its central protagonist Mia (Wilde) is vulnerable and likeable, and though you can see the setup coming from a mile away — as it so happens, the story takes place on the second anniversary of her mother’s suicide — it serves its purpose quite well.

Additionally, all because you’ve got the cards in your hand doesn’t mean you know exactly how they’re going to be played. You’re never quite certain where the narrative is going to go beyond its base elements, keeping you engaged and on the edge of your seat.

Then, something bad happens. And oh boy does it happen (incoming major spoiler warning).

The scene where a malignant spirit infests Mia’s best friend’s younger brother and sends him on a violent rampage is disgusting in the very best way. It’s so visceral and violent, it actually elicited shouts from me. It could be the fact that I was watching Talk to Me with someone else — effectively amplifying the moment — but no matter the situation, this sequence legitimately shocked me.

Once the fun’s over and shit’s gotten real, the final act is a creepy affair that manifests the quintessential “we let something bad in” feelings you’d want from a tale about possession. Again, there are no wasted moments in Talk to Me, and by the time it’s finished, you’re left wanting more.

At a crisp 95 minute runtime, the film is on the shorter side, and on that note, I actually feel as though it could have benefitted from a few more minutes of yucky ghost invasions. The on-screen spectres look and sound terrifying, and even when they’re represented by the proxy of the entranced partiers, you get a tangible chill as their pupils dilate and they peer around, taking in their surroundings.

It’s not often I wish a movie was longer. Quite the opposite actually, I’m typically hopeful for things to wrap up much sooner and stop flapping their excess around in my face. I was ready for The Dark Knight to roll credits on three different occasions, just as an example.

With this in mind, I can handily anoint Talk to Me as one of the better films I’ve viewed for The All-Time Scariest. It likely sits behind only the aforementioned Nope on the overall quality front.

More stunningly, however, I walked away with the firm belief that this was also the scariest one, so far. It has this weird sense of unease carried throughout, masked by the uproarious laughter of kids filming each other making asses of themselves at a party. There’s bound to be some allegories there worth exploring, but beyond the subtext, it just carries itself with sublime confidence.

That gruesome scene I mentioned earlier is an obvious masterstroke of dialling up the drama, but what happens before and after is no less tense. It’s a complete package, heightened by strong performances and somewhat claustrophobic cinematography that highlights its flashy practical effects.

If you have the stomach for it, this is absolutely the kind of movie that everyone should see at least once. And mercifully, it finally has enough scares for me to justify the continued existence of this floundering little column.

Final Verdict

With a swift runtime and keen application of unnerving tension, Talk to Me outdoes its competitors at a fraction of the budget. This is a good film that was done well, and a frightening one, to boot.

Its highlights may be its disturbing imagery, but it never leans on that as a crutch or an opportunity for cheap scares. It comes in, fucks shit up, and leaves triumphantly with a fist held aloft.

Well, more likely a gross dead hand than a fist, but you get the point.